Project 1:
My research began with a project called Gay Loneliness. This was inspired by Michael Hobbes’s essay The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness, a groundbreaking piece published in a magazine that analyzed a critical crisis within the LGBT community. The emotional precarity faced by many gay men—often alone—is rarely acknowledged or documented in mainstream media. Hobbes revealed severe symptoms quietly ravaging the community, such as the use of hard drugs, risky sexual behavior, and violent tendencies, all linked to this epidemic of loneliness. These revelations were shocking not because I personally experienced these symptoms, but because these were taboo topics rarely discussed openly.
Despite the general assumption that the LGBT community is unified under the gay flag, a symbol advocated by activists since the gay revolution of the 1970s, the harsh reality is that this so-called "gay brotherhood" is not a genuine, universally accepted concept within the community. Furthermore, Hobbes highlights significant issues of racism and acceptance within the gay community itself. Gay men have also created their own standards that influence their lives, such as expectations around masculinity, positivity, and openness. After years of trying to maintain these often stressful standards, some gay men develop suicidal thoughts, fall into depression, and ultimately isolate themselves from the community.
Reflecting on Hobbes’s essay, I wrote an article outlining various reasons for this failure in the gay community. I used Bourdieu’s theory of class to argue that many gay men’s precarious conditions are tied to their economic, cultural, and social capital, creating a deterministic cycle of social marginalization. I also emphasized that, like any other community, the gay community is not exempt from hierarchical structures. However, their distinctiveness lies in social features such as rites of passage, their relationship to masculinity, and the internalization of heterosexism as either a positive or negative force in their lives.
Project 2:
My second project focused on Gay Sexuality, which I identified early on as a core issue of gay identity. The acceptance of one’s individual identity is undeniably intertwined with sexuality. Sexuality intermittently impacts a gay man’s life, with the coming out process being the most notorious and dramatic example—this is the moment when one publicly acknowledges their gay identity. Other examples include the initial discovery of one’s sexuality and learning to live with rejection. All these rites of passage are essential steps in a journey of self-acceptance.
Coming to terms with one’s sexuality means resolving these crises as they arise, which is crucial for healthy aging. Aging itself drastically affects gay men’s lives; concerns about fading beauty, physical decline, loneliness, feelings of ridicule, and pettiness arise. However, maturity can also bring increased self-esteem, personal empowerment, and self-affirmation. It’s necessary to recognize internalized homophobia as a continuum of cognitive behavior.
Gay sexuality has evolved over centuries. Desire is socially constructed and changes with culture. The body operates through a repertoire of gratification organized as a sexual unity of scripts that guide sexual behavior and goals. These scripts, borrowed from culture, shape and coordinate conduct. Over the last 50 years, sexuality has deeply influenced gay behavior—from the gay revolution in the 1970s to the emergence of a gay masculine persona in the 1980s.
I also researched the origins of the term "homosexuality," rooted in Christianity. For example, the term “sodomite” referred to someone who engaged in anal intercourse. Christianity emphasized a dichotomy between body and spirit: the body was a holy vessel for the soul, yet it also contained the anus, which “enacts the drama of death” through excretion. For Christians, excrement was a powerful reminder of human mortality and sin. The fear of Purgatory made sodomy, among all "unnatural vices" described in Summa Theologica, the worst sin. I also explored queer history and its violence—persecution, torture, rape, and associations with prostitution.
What did I learn?
While working on these two projects, I gained insight into LGBT communities and became aware of critical issues. Despite the gains achieved since the gay revolution—such as rights to express identity freely—Michael Hobbes’s essay revealed harsh realities still faced by many gay men. Social media, for example, often reflects “homonormativity,” presenting a sanitized version of gay life.
My generation did not witness the gay revolution firsthand and tends to take civil rights for granted. Within the gay community, a culture of ageism complicates the transmission of knowledge between older and younger generations. In an era of hyper-normalization, the younger generation’s focus has shifted from fighting for civil rights to seeking social acceptance and fitting in. Political events such as the 2016 US election, the 2017 Women’s March, and the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation show how social gains can be fragile and subject to political change.
This political uncertainty should encourage the gay community to unify more strongly. Yet, a growing divide exists between academic intellectuals researching and writing about these issues and the general public, who often lack access to such texts. Without this access, many people rely on low-culture sources—reality TV, social media platforms like YouTube and Facebook—which can propagate misinformation, as seen with Trump’s election and Brexit. This knowledge gap—from ignorance to informed understanding—should concern the gay community, though it often goes unaddressed. Plato argued that everyone can learn and reason; therefore, it is in our interest to protect social gains by continuously educating ourselves and challenging politicians and intellectuals.
This disconnection between young and old, and between ignorance and knowledge, must be resolved. The epidemic of loneliness in the gay (and possibly broader LGBT+) community is a warning signal. Many gay men are born into heterosexual families that may lack the knowledge to provide guidance when needed. In democratic societies, schools should fill this educational gap, but when schools avoid discussing gay sexuality, the consequences impact young gay people’s lives. Furthermore, ageism within the gay community means that mentorship from older men is often unwelcome, increasing younger men’s alienation.
I personally relate to this alienation, having experienced it myself not long ago. This inspired me to share my research publicly in a blog format, hoping it resonates with others. More broadly, artists can act as a bridge between intellectual academia and everyday people. Artists translate complex philosophical ideas into universal languages that reach wider audiences. Although contemporary art can sometimes feel inaccessible due to cultural divides, many gay artists have used their sexuality as a platform to reach diverse demographics. These artists—highlighted in my research—engage with literature, music, and film to spark conversations about the hardships of homosexuality in the 21st century. They have become ambassadors for gay rights, and I hope this process of self-proclamation and recognition will continue to strengthen gay culture and community.
Conclusion:
The complexity of gay identity will always extend beyond my grasp. Without years of study, my knowledge remains limited to what I have read. Additionally, no one identifies solely as gay, lesbian, or straight; we are shaped by various factors—environmental, familial, societal determinism. I was surprised to learn that homosexuality has always existed and that each culture has responded differently to it. The sense of oppression felt by younger generations is likely a recent development, within roughly the last hundred years. For example, Japan accepted homosexuality for centuries, with practices such as male brothels. Throughout medieval history, persecution of homosexuals was recorded only in isolated moments; mostly, homosexuality flourished in underground communities.
To me, this realization that homosexuality has always existed highlights a real disconnect between belief and reality. Therefore, I stress the importance of awareness about gay historical contexts. Through oral and written transmission from older gay men, intellectuals, and artists, building a stable history for the future is the only way to combat gay loneliness and reinforce gay identity.
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